A Long Long Time Ago & Essentially True

Last week, I spent much of my late nights and the waking hours of my mornings finishing off a novel by Brigid Pasulka. This is one of those books I will never forget - especially because I really saw myself in the main character Beata (Baba Yaga)  and have come to wonder about my own values and ambitions after seeing hers unfold in this time of her life.

This post isn't a review or a summary of "A Long Long Time Ago & Essentially True" - although I will say I give my full recommendation to anyone who is looking to find some perspective of a different time in the current time. I'm sounding very long-winded at the moment,  but it is a necessary obstacle in clear communication as I try to sort out my mind and heart matters.

Baba Yaga is a conservative girl, who is mature for her age, especially when compared to her wild cousin, Magda, and she is just about to start exploring the "world" (also known as "the city life") after her grandmother passes away in the village she lived in and her aunt offers her a place to stay in Krakow. I don't see it as a "coming of age" moment, because she's not figuring herself out for the first time. In this way, I relate to her. Both of us are entering the world with some experience and wisdom given to us from our family and friends that brought us up; we know a little bit of what we want, but not entirely - we can see life paving something for us and it's hopeful, but we're unsure of what it is. Her academic strength and willingness to work is something she does, but doesn't know where it will take her. In the moment, that's what is important. At the same time, she worries about her family, her romances, her social life - it's there but she also knows things like that are fickle and she has time to settle. 

I feel like I'm talking about myself when I write those descriptions about Baba Yaga. The things that really matter to me are the ones I can't trust to keep me on my own two feet for the next few years of my life. I concern myself with their details and happenings, but I allow myself the liberation of having studies and extra curricular activities to extend my time of needing to track these musings. 

In a week's time, I will be in my residence at school, ready to live for a year with brand new people to my life and attend school with. I can hardly believe how fast time passed from being a kid who thought leaving elementary school was a big step into a void to the person anticipating their first real move away from home.

Goodbyes are really difficult to think about. There are people who understand how much it holds and how much you value their presence in your life; then there are people who don't see it the way you do and you wonder how this time that is so significant to you and that you shared with them doesn't reciprocate similar feelings. However, as Baba Yaga believed by the end of her journey through this novel, we never do know what to expect or what answers to look for; but you can always try and see the positive light and work towards that because there's something to be thankful for in every moment.

-E.Starr