Relocated

Thanks for visiting me on skyofwonder!

Just wanted to let you know that I am not going to continue posting on here as I've moved to a tumblr website with the title burningbusy. Please join me there to continue our meander through life via the cyber-world.

Also, I have new handles under Pinterest & Twitter, so that everything is under one name - don't forget to send me a message through those!

Best,
E.Starr

It's amazing what we can get ourselves into by having just a moment of weakness and opening our hearts to what our mind tells us to be wary of. 

These past couple months have been a roller-coaster to me: changes, adapting, discovery .. However, the small things that always kept me happy since I was old enough to formulate ideas have stayed the same. Those things never change. 

What I loved before is what I love now. Those close to me kindly advised me that I could experience a change of heart in many things after leaving and exploring the world independently. I don't doubt their words in the sense that I couldn't have possibly set all my life goals in what I've lived thus far. However, I can't change the way the puzzle pieces fit together in some things. Those are what built me to be who I am .. if those change, who would I be? 

Select people and places worm their ways into the unattainable depths of the sacred and unforgiving pool of love. 

Sometimes, if we're weak, we may lose it to something that can never return those feelings.

~E.Starr

The Sweetest Thing

"I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again"

~Don Henley: "The Heart of the Matter"~

The thing about home is that it is unique to each person... except that they share that beautiful sentiment with a few select people. For example, my home is is the same as my brother and my parents (although they could be thinking of the home they grew up in). I don't even mean it's the same physically - I mean the space that is home depends on these factors: environment, people, habits.

In that sense, I think the family I grew up with, in my home, think similarly to me. It's a beautiful concept really and I am more amazed by the people I was gifted with at birth to grow in that space. In a world of over 7 billion people, we have been mapped to the people in our lives in very significant, irreplaceable ways and that's something to be unconditionally grateful for. 

-E.Starr

Broken Promised Land

"I don't want to turn around if you'll just leave some day."

~Rob Thomas, "Mockingbird"

I've officially gone to 5 university classes, which means I've got my semester figured out. I am quite excited to dive into course material, once I acquire textbooks and other materials. It's like being at "school" - just bigger with a bit of a strange schedule. I definitely like being independent and attending lectures, but it is quite different from high school where classes are held in the same building at the same times everyday. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough.

Today, we made cookies as a fifth of our house. It was work equally divided and enjoyed. This family in Montreal is something I am so grateful for that I am quite timid to say it to them. It's an amazing opportunity to meet people and discover things about myself through these unique relationships - we've all got our own friends and classes etc., but, in the end, we're at home with each other.

There is still someone whose silence is making me more distant from this new world than I should be. I wish there was a class that could teach me how to let go and find a medium in which I didn't feel anything except what was in the present. It bothers me to have the past haunt me and the future taunt me - the present is so much more important and there is a cloud hanging between it and myself because of these heart matters. I am not doing anything about this situation until next weekend, because making a quick decision won't help the "healing" process. However, I know I am ready to "tie up the loose ends" and officially throw them in the ocean as water droplets. 

I wish I could find the answers, but, alas, what would life be with such omnipotence? 

-E.Starr